My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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