I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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