i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
