I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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