why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
