I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
