ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize