No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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