You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
