Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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