OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
