I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
