Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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