I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My penis needs a shock collar
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
