Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
