fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
