I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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