I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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