Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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