I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
