you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
