And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
