I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
