thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
