Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
