Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
