I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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