what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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