And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she peed on how many people?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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