theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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