Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.

Fav 5 3843 769
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(703): View more from Virginia

But I thought everyone had breakup sex?

Fav 24 5443 1812
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(360): View more from Washington

just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

Fav 18 2137 755
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader

Fav 3 1702 1043
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

Fav 12 2488 937
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(916): View more from California

What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum

Fav 7 1009 621
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

Fav 2 1347 572
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(847): View more from Illinois

This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless

Fav 2 322 173
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(206): View more from Washington

So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.

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