you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
