Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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