I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
