I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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