Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
