Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize