I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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