Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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