I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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