I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Boobs are out for the taking
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
