i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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