I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This baby is an asshole
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize