I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He felt like a one man threesome
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
