I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
