Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize