I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
