ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
