I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
