i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
