Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
