you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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