She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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