it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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