Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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