Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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