He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
