i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
