He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
