Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
