is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
