I think I died a long time ago.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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