I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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