is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And then the night went full on bisexual.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
