I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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