i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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