im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
