Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize