Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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